David frustrated writing Psalms while Children’s Worker figures out actions for every line
Plus: how do we feel about AI?
Welcome back to The Wycliffe Papers! Work on the 16-page tabloid copy has begun in earnest, and soon will be available to pre-order. It will include exclusive material, extended stories and all kinds of extras, as well as giving you that wonderful feeling of reading something that isn’t on a screen. Plus it would make a great gift. But that’s in the future. Here are the headlines:
David frustrated writing Psalms while Children’s Worker figures out actions for every line.
“She means well,” said the shepherd-turned-King of Israel, speaking to The Wycliffe Papers alongside Abby, a children’s worker. “But it can really cramp your style when you’re trying to explore themes of worship, lament, thanksgiving, and divine kingship.” Placing an invisible crown on her own head, Abby disagreed. “These are all concepts that are easy to show with fun, memorable actions. I just want King David to feel he can express himself without frustration,” she said, balling up her fists and frowning. “He really can leave it to me to figure out the actions.”
Miraculous Feeding of the 5000 disappoints members of Slow Food movement.
“It was instant and delicious, like honey wafers but not too sweet,” a member of the crowd told The Wycliffe Papers. “But when we found out later it had been mass-produced, it left a bitter after-taste. Actually, it wasn’t that bitter. The bread was so good, even though it was barley, but you get the point. I’m speaking metaphorically. Food should be slow. That’s the way God makes it, right?”
Apostle Philip wonders if being asked to explain the Suffering Servant in Isaiah is an evangelistic opportunity, urges Ethiopian eunuch to do course.
“I was initially nervous about ramming the gospel down the eunuch’s throat,” Philip told The Wycliffe Papers. “But in the end, I decided to go for it.”
Ancient architect commissioned to build series of pointless, low walls to mess with archaeologists of the future.
“It’s the ultimate slow-burn prank,” said King Esarhaddon (681-669BC), son of Sennacherib who razed Babylon to the ground. “The city of Babylon needs rebuilding, but wouldn’t it be a blast to build walls that future generations will not understand at all?” Slapping his thigh, Esarhaddon went on, “Oh, and get this! I’m going to lay foundations for a structure so large, in a few thousand years, people will assume that whatever was built on top must have been so gigantic it simply had to have been constructed by giants. Or aliens! It’s going to be great.”
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My good friend Nate Morgan Locke, the Reformed Mythologist, is not keen. When I sent him a graphic generated by ChatGPT the other day, like the one on this page, a bit of him died. So Nate and I had a chat about it. That conversation will be available this weekend to Loyal Lollards.
What is a Loyal Lollard?
Loyal Lollards are supporters of The Wycliffe Papers. They get an extra email on Saturday morning called The Wycliffe Weekender, advanced access to jokes, and full access to the archive, plus a monthly Zoom chat with me (next on is at 8pm UK time on Monday 30th June). Wanna join us?